


Exhale

by On_Sonnshine



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Abuse, Blood, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, Mutilation, Possessive Behavior, also some implied future Moceit but that's like, barely noticable, some slightly implied Pining Logince, there's like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-28
Updated: 2018-06-28
Packaged: 2019-05-29 18:55:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15079523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/On_Sonnshine/pseuds/On_Sonnshine
Summary: my only explanation; we were SERIOUSLY lacking some 'abusive Virgil' stories. I'm here to rectify the issue.





	Exhale

Really, all Logan did was reach out, in more way than one, that is. Resting a distracted hand on Deceit's arm, going to get the deceitful Sides attention. He wonders what would've happened had he not.  
  
Pure chance, when Deceit lets out a highpitched noise, a whimper, flinching away and nearly arching in an attempt to get the touch _away_. He doesn't mean to react so harshly, but his pain-tolerance wasn't up to snuff recently.  
  
Ugly panic swirls angrily in Deceit's chest, and he flinches back even further when Logan gives a questioning frown, reeling his hand back, 'I- my apologies, Dee, I didn't intend to startle you.'  
  
Deceit chews at his bottom lip, considering, and then makes a decision he’ll come to regret within seconds, 'O-oh no, it'ss not your fault, it's just s-...sore.' He's not lying. Logan's hand had landed right on a bruise from last night, when Virgil had...eh... _scolded_ him...for being so touchy-feely with Roman.  
  
Logan's frown deepens, eyes flickering, 'Sore? Did you injure yourself?' Logan barely gives him a moment to breathe before reaching over to begin pulling up his sleeve.  
  
Deceit jerks, pushing him away with shaky hands, offering up a reassuring smile- _what was wrong with him why was he so shaky today-_ 'Yeah.'  
  
For a second, Deceit thinks he's successfully finished the conversation, and he goes to turn- but then, to his dawning fear, Logan's eyes narrow.  
  
'You're lying.'  
  
Deceit freezes, and he instinctively glances around, before forcing himself to return his eyes to Logan. 'N-no, I did, I tripped in the bathr-' 'Falsehood, Deceit, I have an understanding of your 'tells', and you're lying.'  
  
Logan opens his mouth, breath catching, and then his features soften. The other Side reaches forward, gently setting a hand on Deceit's shoulder, and Deceit is both put off by, and thankful for the fact, that the touch intentionally avoids the bruise. 'What happened, if you didn't do it yourself...?'  
  
Deceit feels a vague lump in his throat and he briefly thinks he's about to devolve into tears. But the fear churning in his stomach distracts him enough from his growing emotions. Why is he upset? _Stupid, emotional idiot. Ungrateful bastard. Manipulative disgusting disgusting abuser manipulative-_  
  
'I-I...' 'Please don't...lie,' Logan shifts, a tad uncomfortably, 'I'm...concerned, you seem to...you've fabricated stories like this before- if you don't mind my asking, what's going on?'  
  
'Y-...you know about that?' Deceit's voice is weak, and he can barely focus on the fact, the older Side feeling as though his strength had been drained from him. Logan nods, mouth set in a worried frown.  
  
Deceit pauses, internally searching for any way out of this situation, but Logan’s features are open, if determined, and the hand on his shoulder is tight. He couldn’t squirm out if he tried.  
  
'It- it wass...' His mouth feels like cotton, and he can't seem to force the word out, 'V-V...'  
  
Logan stares at him for a moment, eyebrow lifting. 'Virgil? He injured your arm?'  
  
Deceit straightens, 'No! No, it's not, it's not _injured_ ,' A chuckle is worked into the 'injured', and Logan fights the urge to wince, 'It's just bruised, he didn't mean any h-'  
  
'Dee. little love,' Logan pauses, head cocking briefly, and Deceit wonders what this is preceding if it's been started with such an endearment, a phrase sounding strange coming from Logan at a time like this, 'Is Virgil the one who caused the other i... _bruises?_ '  
  
Deceit licks his lips. And he’s not quite sure why, but he nods. His heart jumps into his throat at the motion.  
  
Logan's eyes flicker, and then they harden, his mouth shifting into a grim line. Deceit recognizes what the other Side is trying to do- suppressing his emotions- but fire is still bleeding into Logan’s features, and the thought that Logan, who's done it for years, is failing at successfully hiding his emotions, is an ever-so-slightly terrifying one.  
  
'Purposefully?'  
  
Deceit doesn't respond. Logan knows when he's lying, after all..  
  
Logan straightens up, pulling to his full height. 'Is your arm alright?' Logan's expression forcibly softens- for Deceit's sake, not that Deceit would be aware- and Deceit gives a tiny nod. It is- bruised, among other places, but alright. It always is.  
  
Logan nods once, and then with one last parting word that he barely waits for a response to, he's strode out of the room, steps purposeful. Deceit has a terrible fear that he knows what Logan is about to do, and he stares after him for a moment before reluctantly sagging against the counter.  
  
His head bows, and he realizes he’s been holding a breath. He can’t find it in him to let it out.  
  
-  
  
Logan sighs, running a hand through his hair as Patton and Roman come down the stairs, curiosity colouring their features. Logan grimaces. He imagines those expressions won't be in place for long.  
  
'What's up specs?' Logan shifts, mouth twitching, and he takes a slow breath in, struggling to pull his normal poker face.  
  
Their expressions turn to frowns at that, and Roman's steps stutter for a moment.  
  
They both seem to notice how... _tense_ Logan is, his shoulders squared and back completely straight. He's got the best posture out of all of them, but it's almost like...he's trying to make himself...taller? Hm.  
  
'I-' Another slow breath, and Logan looks to them, 'Something has...happened.' Logan clasps his hands behind his back, and his gaze momentarily falls to to Roman.  
  
'It is... _pertinent_ that neither of you say a word about this until we've created a plan. You will be...angry, furious, just as I, but under no circumstances do you say a word, or behave as though something is amiss. Can I trust you?'  
  
Patton and Roman glance at each other, frowns deepening, but then they return their eyes to Logan and nod. 'Of course.'  
  
Logan sighs softly, sinking down to sit on the couch. Patton settles beside him, and Roman perches on the table in front of the other Side after a moment.  
  
'I-...' Logan's eyes close and he reaches up to slip off his glasses, pressing the insides of his wrists at his eyes, 'Earlier, I talked with Deceit and...' Logan settles his glasses back onto his nose and looks between Patton and Roman.  
  
'You remember the instances where Deceit lied about how he obtained bruises and- injuries, of the like?' The pauses in Logan's speech are unnerving as is- Logan doesn't 'um' and 'ah'.  
  
Patton and Roman share an uneasy look. 'Yes...?'  
  
Logan is quiet for a moment, and he purses his lips, bowing his head briefly.  
  
'Earlier, he told me that-...Virgil. It was all Virgil's doing.'  
  
Silence rings loud in the room for the longest moment, and then, 'I-I beg your pardon?' Logan looks up to the direction of the voice, to see that Roman's eyes are clouded, deep frown on his face. 'Th-the bruises? The flinching? All of that- _Virgil?_ '  
  
A certain note of incredulity colours Roman's tone, and Logan can't blame him.  
  
'He-...he didn't seem to be lying, Ro.' The nickname seems foreign on his tongue, and Roman goes to look up, but then the surprise is gone, washed out.  
  
'He's...Virge has been...you're sure? It wasn't a...misunderstanding?' Patton's voice is weak, and Logan turns to him, schooling his expression into something softer than what he's feeling.  
  
'I-...I don't believe so.' Patton's face is pale, and Logan sets a hand on his knee. He understood, for once.  
  
Logan faces Roman and he's unsurprised to see the other Side leant onto his knees, hand covering his mouth and eyes focused on the floor. He seems to be muttering something, but Logan can't make it out.  
  
Roman suddenly looks up, and Logan knows just off of the look in his eyes what he's doing. _They had the exact same reaction. Hah. Ironic._  
  
'What do we...' His voice shakes and he clears his throat, 'What do we do?'  
  
Logan glances at Patton, wincing at how he looks a bit sick. He reaches over, gently rubbing at Patton's back- that's what...that's what Patton does for...for _him_. Patton leans into him. It's enough to make him shake away the thought.  
  
'I may have a plan.' The words are let out on a breath.  
  
-  
  
Deceit stares hard at himself in the mirror, baggy tank-top hooked back behind his head to reveal the array of bruises patterned across his shoulders, arms, and some barely visible on his hips. And then...  
  
Across his chest, in dark red, jagged lines, ' _Virgil_ '. A brand. A reminder. His hand reaches up and he trails his fingers over the marks, wincing on instinct.  
  
It's almost completely illegible because of the fact that it's covering another name. Another...  
  
Deceit shakes his head, but his thoughts still drift. He can almost feel the switchblade slicing into his skin, the warm blood dripping down his abdomen, the soothing voice in his ear, the constant stream of, ' _calm down, calm down, almost done_ '. The hands travelling over his shaking body, dipping lower and lower despite his whimpers and nonsensical pleads to ' _stop_ ' and ' _w-wait-_ '-  
  
Deceit shudders, dropping his hand quickly, swallowing. It was better with Virgil than...Virgil treated him better. He should be thankful it hadn't been like...like the first time. Virgil was an upgrade. And most importantly- Virgil loved him. He loved Virgil.  
  
Deceit reaches up, rubbing briefly at the back of his neck before moving to let his shirt back down. A hand on his elbow stops him.  
  
He jumps, going to whip around, but then arms are around his waist and there's nuzzling at his neck and he faces the mirror again, closing his eyes against the feeling.  
  
' _Stay like this for a bit._ '  
  
Virgil trails a hand down to his waistband and Deceit's muscles jump beneath his hand. Virgil chuckles against his neck, an exhale that leaves Deceit shivering and then relaxing back into the older Side. 'O-...okay.'  
  
Virgil pauses briefly at his waistband.  
  
'Shy? I got you...' Deceit inhales as Virgil's hand undoes the button on his pants, teeth lightly finding his neck.  
  
He isn't sure if he exhales.  
  
-  
  
Patton stares at his food insistently, knowing if he looked at Deceit that he'd be leaning over to offer comfort that isn't needed. He'd eat, but he's not sure he's got the appetite.  
  
 _Virgil._  
  
A part of him doesn't believe it, wants him to go stop Roman and Logan right then and there. Virgil, Virge, Vee, sweet Virgil, he _couldn't_ have, he _wouldn't_...would he?  
  
But despite that- there's no room for- for... _abusers_. In their family. That much- _that much_ \- he's certain.  
  
'Not hungry either kiddo?' Patton's tone is an attempt at jovial, but it comes out slightly shaky, not to mention subdued. He internally curses his awful acting.  
  
Deceit shrugs, picking at his food. Worry swirls low in Patton's stomach.  
  
Patton- he knows what Logan said- don't act like anything is off. But how can he act like everything's fine when... _christ- Virgil._  
  
'H-he told you...d-d...didn't he?' Patton looks back to him quickly, to find Deceit looking at him with worried eyes and hunched shoulders.  
  
He can't bring himself to answer other than a slightly guilty nod.  
  
Deceit sighs, looking down to his food. 'I-it'sss not as b-b-bb... _bad_. As ittt sss-...sounds. Really.'  
  
Patton briefly glances away, and then he returns his gaze to Deceit. 'Dee, honey...it-...it sounds pretty bad to me.' Patton keeps his voice soft, and he knows he shouldn't say it, but he can't stop himself.  
  
'Th-that'ss because you only kn-know what L-L-Logan told you.' The mutter is bitter, and Patton is vaguely sure his heart has dropped directly into his stomach- given that it's even still intact.  
  
He realizes briefly that he's been holding his breath, and reluctantly, he lets it out, head drooping.  
  
-  
  
Logan straightens his tie, adjusting his glasses and smoothing out his shirt. He's far beyond anxious, fearful- he's pissed. The fear he expected to set in was nowhere to be found. Instead, anger thrummed through his veins, leaving him standing taller than his natural 5'6, shoulders squared and chin held high.  
  
Roman doesn't seem any better, standing tall and looming. There's a sharp look in his eyes, and he thinks briefly that Roman can be quite intimidating when he wants to be. It's respectable. Also respectable being how he's managed to gather himself.  
  
Previously, he'd been quiet, seemingly broken by the mere _idea_ of-  
  
Roman's stronger than he seems, is Logan's last musing thought before he raps his knuckles on Virgil's door, sharp, and after a moment, Virgil himself appears at the door. The 4 inch height difference does nothing to water down the fire curling through Logan's abdomen.  
  
Virgil steps out, shutting the door behind himself, and Logan is reluctant to move back, but he does. Roman follows suite after a slow moment.  
  
Virgil looks between Roman and Logan, frowning, scratching briefly at the nape of his neck, and Logan hates how he looks like their good old Virgil. _Their_ Virgil.  
  
Logically, he knows that Virgil wouldn't look any different, of course he wouldn't- but he still hates it. Their Virgil is standing in front of them but...  
  
But Virgil's not, he's not- he- he's _disgusting_ , he's an _abuser_ \- he's _always_ been an-  
  
Logan stops that train of thought. Now isn't the time for emotions. _It's not the time._  
  
'Ah...what do you guys need? Dinner done?' Virgil glances over to the stairs, and Roman shifts into the way, hand falling to his side- where the hilt of his sword would be was it on his person.  
  
'Virgil,' Logan clears his throat, maintaining eye contact with Virgil, 'May I ask you a question?'  
  
Virgil glances between them, confusion spelled across his features, but he nods, 'Uh...sure?'  
  
'The bruise Deceit had on his cheek, a few months ago- how did he obtain said bruise?' Roman glances at Logan the tiniest bit- this was a vague part of the plan, but he knew it'd be best he stayed quiet and let this play out. Logan had it under control, considering he was in full 'logic' mode.  
  
'Oh, he slipped in the bathroom.' Roman's stomach twists, and his fingers twitch.  
  
Logan tilts his head, slow, 'Falsehood. _That_ is the story he told. It was a lie, and you would know this because you are the only one out of us aside from myself who can properly and consistently gauge whether or not Deceit is lying. Thusly, I will ask again; how did Deceit come to have a large bruise on his cheek, when you were the only one with him the night preceding?'  
  
Virgil pauses, and then he frowns, eyes flashing. He inches further forward into Logan's space. Roman finds a swell of pride in his chest when Logan doesn't so much as flinch.  
  
'If you're suggesting what I think you're suggesting-' 'I am. Answer the question.' Logan doesn't lean up, doesn't shift, waver. His face is blank, a slate.  
  
'I don't know what gave you that idea, but I swear, he _did_ sl-' 'He didn't. I suggest you tell the truth for your own personal benefit.'  
  
Roman prepares to conjure his sword as Virgil sways, twitching to lean down slightly. The urge to leap forward and _protect_ curls tight in Roman's chest, but he doesn't interfere. Not yet.  
  
'What do you want to hear?' The tone is almost jovial, off slightly, a chuckle capping it off, 'That _I_ hurt Dee?' Incredulity covers Virgil's features. Roman wants to growl.  
  
Logan stares up at Virgil.  
  
'The truth. Yes. That'd be a nice change of pace.' His tone is blunt, and Virgil twitches.  
  
Virgil runs a hand through his hair briefly before putting his hands up, ‘Come on.’ His voice is unnaturally soft, ‘You know me. The last thing I want is to start a fight.’  
  
Virgil looks to Roman, smiling a little bit, and he reaches out, gently touching Roman’s jaw, ‘C’mon Ro. You don’t _really_ think that i’d hurt Dee? Or any of you?’  
  
Roman’s jaw trembles under the touch, and Logan looks to him, reaching over and gently grabbing Roman’s wrist, fingers tight. Logan ducks slightly, fighting to grab the older Side’s gaze. _Don’t listen to him, you know it’s a lie, Roman come on, a crush cannot trump what he’s done, it can’t, can’t, don’t give him an out..._  
  
Roman looks back to Virgil, and with lightning quick speed, he reaches up, grabbing Virgil’s wrist in a tight grip and yanking it away from his face, down to his side. Virgil flinches hard- Roman must’ve twisted his wrist too hard, not like he cared- and Roman’s gaze flitted, features briefly uncertain.  
  
‘I-...I don’t know what I think.’ Logan feels his heart drop into his stomach. _This isn’t the plan, this isn’t the plan, this isn’t the plan, this isn’t the plan, this ISN’T, the PLAN-_  
  
Roman’s eyes pause on Virgil, and he wavers. Virgil tugs at his wrist.  
  
Roman’s brief fall in posture is repaired within seconds, his back straightening and shoulders pulling back, his features hardening, lips pursing. Logan doesn’t move, but internally he nearly cries with relief.  
  
‘But...I highly doubt that Deceit would lie about such a thing as this- he adores you, Virgil.’ Roman pauses, and his eye twitches, ‘He adores you, he- he _defended_ you Virgil- how could you do this? How could you hurt him?’  
  
Roman’s brow is furrowed, deep frown carved into his face, and Logan shifts forward to stop his rant, but it’s all flooding out now- Roman’s been internalizing since a week ago, when Logan told them. Logan expected this.  
  
‘I d-’ ‘Deceit _trusts you_ , he- he’s called you his _hero_ , his- his _guardian_ \- he trusted you to protect him and you- you- you took advantage of him?’ Roman lets out an almost hysterical laugh, ‘You went and played knight in shining armor, saved him from Rage- you’re no better than Rage! You- you-’  
  
Virgil jerks, ripping his wrist out of Roman’s grasp, mouth contorting into a pained grimace, but his eyes, they’re dark, seeming to glint in the light.  
  
‘Don’t say that- I _love_ Deceit, i’m protecting him- Rage didn’t really love him, _he_ was the abuser, _Roman_. Don’t _you_ know a little something about love?’ It’s snarled, warbly, a growl lingering in the back of his voice. Roman doesn’t flinch- he leans down, nearly bringing himself nose-to-nose with Virgil.  
  
Logan winces- _low blow_. Though, he would admit being both mutely surprised and adequately pleased when Roman doesn’t back down, or even seem affected.  
  
‘I would, in fact- i’ll tell you a little something about love. You don’t hurt someone that you love, manipulate them. If you do, you know what that’s called, Virgie? _Abuse_.’ Virgil stares at Roman for a long second and then he growls, baring his teeth as he moves to shove Roman back.  
  
Roman was faster.  
  
Roman grabbed the collar of Virgil’s hoodie, shoving Virgil against his door as harshly as he can and lifting him right off the ground, arm wedging against the younger Sides neck. Virgil lets out a pained noise when the frame of the door digs into his back.  
  
Logan glances briefly at his watch- _ah. 4 minutes. 4?_ \- and then he returns his gaze to Roman, gently grabbing his shoulder. He keeps his words brusque, despite the anger still churning in his stomach.  
  
‘While i’d love to allow you to continue, Roman, Thomas requires _his_ -’ A quick head-tilt to Virgil, ‘- presence. It’s... _sadly_...not wise to exact lethal revenge.’ Logan throws a calculated look to Virgil, ‘Though, I myself can admit to understanding the urge.’  
  
Roman doesn’t look at Logan for a moment, eyes still connected to Virgil’s, and Roman presses harder against Virgil’s neck. Logan’s fingers tighten on Roman’s shoulder, but he doesn’t say anything.  
  
His judgement is correct, because just as Virgil starts attempting to squirm, making little choking noises, Roman scoffs, letting go of Virgil and stepping back. Virgil falls, sliding down the wall and sucking in gasping breaths, reaching up to rub at his throat.  
  
‘Leave.’ Virgil looks up to Roman with a glare, but Roman continues, voice hollowed, a 180 from his previous tone, ‘Leave, now. We don’t want abusers in this family.’  
  
‘C’mon Roro, y-’ ‘ _ **Don’t.**_ ’  
  
Roman’s voice is nearing on shaky, and he looks at Virgil with a hate-filled glare.  
  
‘ _Don’t_ call me that. You’re an abuser, and a- a manipulator. You’re not...I won’t let you do this anymore. You don’t have a place with us.’  
  
There’s a _shing_ , and then Roman’s sword is in his hand, fingers tight around the blade.  
  
‘ _Get. out._ ’  
  
Virgil doesn’t break eye contact with Roman, his jaw tightens, and Logan prepares for a fight...but then Virgil shakes his head, ‘ _You think Deceit won’t come find me?_ ’ And then he chuckles.  
  
It hangs in the air as Virgil sinks out, and Roman’s eyes stay where Virgil had been. His chest is rising and falling in deep breaths, and his head slowly turns to where Virgil’s door had been. Had.  
  
Now, there was just an expanse of wall.  
  
‘H-...it’s gone.’ Roman turns to look at Logan, ‘It’s gone.’  
  
Roman sounds nearly shocked- Logan can’t blame him. But right then, he pushes his own surprise aside, reaching out to set what he hopes is a calming hand on Roman’s shoulders, rubbing gently.  
  
For once, he’s not quite sure what to say, but that’s fine, because then Roman lets out a slow breath, head bowing and sword disappearing with a brief snap of his fingers. ‘You did a good job, Roman.’ The _i’m proud of you_ goes unspoken, but Roman seems to understand from the smile that crosses his face.  
  
‘Thanks, specs. You...same to you.’  
  
-  
  
Patton knocks on Deceit’s door, trying to ignore the now smooth wall between Dee’s door and Logan’s.  
  
Deceit’s been...quiet. Practically nonexistent. He has been since Roman and Logan came downstairs, since having been given a gentle, ‘it’s taken care of. He’s not going to hurt you anymore, Dee.’  
  
Deceit’s reaction to that was something along the lines of a tense and then a little nod. He quickly excused himself, and they hadn’t seen him since, outside of when Roman went up to check that he was, in fact, still there.  
  
It was dinner now, and Patton hoped he could coax the Dark Side down to eat with them.  
  
That was, if he could manage to get a response, as silence stretched out after his knocks.  
  
Another few and a soft, ‘Dee? You wanna come eat with us kiddo?’  
  
No response, other than a...Patton leans closer to the door, frowning slightly. _A whimper?_  
  
Hesitantly, Patton gives another round of knocks. Nothing.  
  
Even more hesitantly, he takes hold of the handle, pushing open the door, ‘Dee?’  
  
Deceit is curled up in bed, his face buried into Scout- his stuffed ram. He’s sniffling, and he barely looks up to acknowledge Patton, instead letting out a little sob and burying his father into Scout’s fur.  
  
Patton reaches out, giving a gentle, ‘Oh- sweetheart-’, that cuts off, nearly along with his movements when he realizes Deceit is adorned in Virgil’s old jacket.  
  
Only nearly, though, as Patton quickly crosses the room, sitting down on the edge of Deceit’s bed. He doesn’t move for a moment, trying to figure out his next plan of action, before, ‘Can I touch you?’ Deceit takes a moment, but he nods.  
  
Patton reaches out, running his fingers through Deceit’s hair, briefly pausing to wipe a tear from Deceit’s chin before it can drip.  
  
‘What’s wrong, honey?’ Deceit sniffles.  
  
Patton could guess, but he doesn’t want to assume.  
  
‘M-missss him. I-I know he'sss only bbeen gone fff-for a d-day but I-I....I misss him.’ It’s watery, and about the answer Patton expected. It wasn’t going to be all suns and roses just because Virgil was gone.  
  
‘I know, but-’ ‘You thhink it wasss u-unhealthy.’ Patton pauses, and Deceit continues, pushing himself up onto an arm, swallowing thickly.  
  
‘Mm-maybe it wasss, b-but h-h-he loved me and I-I-’ Deceit stammers, glancing down, and then, so soft Patton can barely hear it, ‘ _E-everything hurtss._ ’  
  
Deceit’s shoulders hunch and shake and Patton is quick to lean forward with a sympathetic noise, wrapping his arms around Deceit’s shoulders. Deceit clings to him, burying his face into Patton’s neck.  
  
Patton rocks him, quiet for a long moment. And then...  
  
‘I-...it’s okay. I’m here as long as you need me, and after.’ He doubts it’s the right thing to say, but it’s worth a try.  
  
Deceit clings to him harder, and Patton closes his eyes. ‘Not leaving you.’  
  
Deceit lets out a long, shuddering exhale.  



End file.
